Goals Revolving Around Money

 I've always struggled with money. I know how to make it, and I know how to spend. Like I'm a pro at spending it, I've even mastered the art of spending money I don't have. 

But saving money. That's a whole other story.

Mister's bailed me out of credit card debt at least twice now, but yet again I've racked up about 8k in debt.

That's a big chunk of money espically for a stay-at-home wife. Which is why I've started doing things like delivering for DoorDash and Spark. Well, I say DoorDash, I stopped that after about three months. They just don't pay well enough. That's a whole other post for another day. I chose the delivery route because I can control my schedule. 

I make roughly $350 a week for two days of work right now. I'm hoping once winter is over, I can start doing three to four days a week, but I will cross that bridge when it gets here. I have a fused ankle, and the cold weather makes it hard to walk, which is what is limiting me currently. 

My normal monthly payment is around $120 a month between the two cards I have. 

That puts me at $1,400 a month in income and $120 paid out. 

The biggest credit card has zero interest on it for the next ten months, while the smaller one definitely charges interest monthly. 

Here's the breakdown

BC: $4,801.82

SC: $2,861.97

My first goal for the next year is to pay off both cards. 

$7,633.78/12 = $636.15

Putting it into cold, hard facts like that makes me feel so ashamed. I knew my spending had gotten out of hand, but I didn't realize it had gotten quite that bad. I refuse to let the shame keep me from fixing my mistakes, though. I understand where a lot of the overspending issues come from, and with God's help and self-commitment, I can fix it. 

My goal is to pay the $637 a month and split it between the cards.

My BC is the one with no interest for the next few months, so I think what I'll do is pay the minimum payment on it and put the rest of the money on the SC to pay it off as fast as possible, so not much interest is racked up. 

Even at $637 a month in payments, that will leave me with $763 extra. The goal with the extra is to save 30% of it ($229) and let myself spend the rest ($534). This way, I can still chase that dopamine but in a controlled manner.  I also have to remember to account for gas, which I will take out of the spending money. I typically spend about $25 a week on gas, which brings me to $434 left to spend. 

I refuse to ask Mister for help again. I did this to myself, and I will fix it myself. 

My second goal of the year is to invest my savings in something that will make me money. Mister said he will help me navigate the stock market and some ETFs that are a lower risk than individual stocks. 

My third goal of the year is to learn to control my spending. One of the steps I'm going to take is to figure out a way to chase that dopamine that doesn't include spending (as much). Ms. H is wise for her 18 years and told me the other day her dopamine isn't from spending the money because it's a fleeting high, but from watching the amount in her account grow. How often is it that your 18-year-old daughter teaches you a lesson? But something finally clicked in my head when she said that.  So while I will have that $434 to spend, I want to do it wisely and not just let the money burn a hole through my wallet. 

My ideas for cutting back on the spending just to spend:

• Taking lunch with me on delivery days
• Making my coffee at home
• Using the library more 
• Or reading one of the 400+ books I have at home
• Limiting the amount of money I spend on Ms. H, Ms. K (older daughter), and Giggly Butt (granddaughter)
• Adding things to a wishlist instead of my shopping cart on Amazon and waiting until the end of the month to see if I still really want them. 
• Shopping second-hand for decor and clothes, and limiting those trips to once every two to three months 
• Tracking my spending by saving receipts and posting here on what I spent on things everyweek.

 All of this is doable; I just have to be mindful of what I'm doing and commit to making my goals happen. For the first time in, well, my life, I feel like I can do it. I'm praying about it, asking God to help me in my struggles and to keep me strong.  I'm properly managing my bipolar mania and my ADHD with help from a doctor and medications.  I have clear-cut and, more importantly, manageable goals. And I have a way to hold myself accountable, even if no one ever reads this, I will know there is the potential someone may, and that's enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.