Pre-Empty Nest Thoughts

 With Ms H turning 19, the hard realization that I'll be an empty nester within a year is starting to sink in. 

I'm not sure I'm ready. 

I'm proud of the woman she's becoming, and I know it's time (nearly) for her to spread her wings, but y'all.  She 'needs' me less and less each day, which, again, I know is a good thing, but I miss that small girl who needed me to tie her shoes. Ms H is fiercely independent, tackling things like ACT testing, signing up for community college, and doctor and dentist appointments on her own. It's strange to not be needed for all the 'things' I did for her so often over the years. 

I know in the grand scheme she still needs me. I mean, after all, I'm 43 and still need my momma. Yet, it's not quite the same. 

No matter how big she gets, she'll always be my munchkin

I've spent the last 24 years raising babies, and much of that time as a stay-at-home wife and mother. It's weird thinking that part of my life is over. I'm learning to be 'me' again, not only the 'mom' version of myself. I've worked hard over the last half-decade to find myself after raising little ones, but the kids came first. 

Now it'll just be me and Mister the majority of our days. That freedom is a touch scary and exciting. I'm discovering new hobbies, things to fill my days. I'm learning to be at peace with an empty and quiet house during the day. The quiet isn't so weird, but the emptiness is very odd.

I couldn't ask for a better person to spend the rest of my days with.

I'm trying to get accustomed to an empty house most of the day with Mister and Ms H both working. I put on an audiobook to help cut the dead silence, but still, the emptiness is a lot to bear. 

I really don't know how I'll ever get used to it. We did just adopt a sweet fur baby; I'm hoping her presence will bring me some additional comfort once Ms H does move out. 

Lord, I can see it now. I'm going to be one of those little old ladies carrying on full conversations with her pup. Ya know, that's something I can look forward to.